Tag Archives: perfectionism

Dreaming of a Perfect Holiday?

Dreaming of a Perfect HOliday

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is easy to get sucked into the quicksand of “perfect” at this time of year. As a recovering perfectionist I have to be vigilant about superwoman syndrome* at the holidays.

Whether it is the near-constant media pressure to pick out the perfect gift, have the picture-perfect family holiday or setting our intentions for a flawless 2016, expectations of ourselves and others are high.

We also compare ourselves to our past and to others while taking stock of the year. This process can degrade from constructive evaluation to beating ourselves up pretty quickly, increasing the pressure to up our game.

It is easy to get derailed in doing more and more to quell the fears that we’re falling short or worse, failing entirely.

Here’s how I get a grip:

Stop. Comparing. It is a well-documented fact that happiness is relative – we’re happy with what we have until we see that somebody has more, then somehow we’re less happy. One of the best cures is gratitude. When I get nitty-gritty about gratitude and my stress melts like snowflakes on my tongue.

Play by my own rules, not what society dictates I “should” do. Come back to your core priorities, the ways you want to feel most of the time (great tool : the Desire Map workbook by Danielle LaPorte, free in December). If what you’re stressing about acing isn’t one of those 3-5 things and doesn’t serve you in getting there, ditch it. If you can’t bail, do it justice and move on.

Practice the art of saying no, politely and with integrity (no white lies). Thanks to Marie Forleo for this gem from Bob Burg who dishes on how NOT to say no, along with his script for declining with class.

I hope you can pause during the holidays to gently redirect, recharge and fully absorb how much you accomplished this year.

All the best for a wonderful holiday, whatever your wonderful is.
To your success,
Melanie
Founder & CEO
Front Room

*You know… the superwoman who can do it all without breaking a sweat! Make the from-scratch allergy-free** four-course meal plus allergy-free cookies, treats and snacks; evaluate the business and get the upcoming years’ strategic plan done; find the just-right hostess gifts to go to the parties with the great hair, makeup, manicure, outfit and shoes; remember my networking tips because at heart I’m an introvert and homebody; make sure the wrapping paper doesn’t clash with the tree décor because I’m a bit neurotic that way; read  and apply all those books I’ve been meaning to read to grow my business… on and on.

** I’m trying to figure out if I have food allergies or possibly an auto-immune condition.  I am allergic to corn for sure and currently avoiding gluten and nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, etc.)  Turns out corn is in pretty much everything, including gluten-free foods (corn is gluten free) and baked goods (most baking powder has cornstarch in it).

Screw up? Permission granted.

As an entrepreneur, the myriad of things that need to get done can be overwhelming to say the least. From pricing logistics to hiring photographers and dealing with product delivery dates, there’s a lot going on – even before the doors open.

I’m a recovering perfectionist so it would be all too easy for me to get stuck trying to get it “just right” and “evaluate all my options”. Going down that well-worn road of perfectionism can turn one of those tasks into a dead-end pretty quickly.

Ah yes, paralysis by analysis. And if a Chartered Financial Analyst isn’t good at analysis, then who is? Well, a lot of us are actually – especially any impostors lurking amongst us.

Not only does it seem prudent and useful, it also serves as an excellent avoidance strategy.

I would remind myself that I don’t need to be an expert, I need to get the job done. (My mantra of late: Good things come to those who hustle.)

Even that little reminder wasn’t always good at getting me unstuck. I’ll just look into one more option… and another loop around the dead-end.

So I did something I would have never ever considered before: I gave myself permission to screw up.

I don’t have time to become an expert in every discipline my small manufacturing business needs to thrive. I decided instead that my job was to launch the business to the best of my abilities, then course correct as needed.

Some succinctly refer to this strategy as Ready. Fire. Aim. It is all too easy to prepare, prepare, prepare and never pull the trigger.

Now, I pull the trigger. I do the task justice and move on. Once I have more information, I can change or adapt as needed for my growing business.

Got a great tip that gets you unstuck when you’re facing overwhelm or paralysis by analysis? Let me know in the comments below.

To your success,
Melanie Love
Founder & CEO

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